As students at RHS returned from spring break this week, the senior class began the final blazing stretch of slacking off. With only a month left until graduation, the seniors are now putting all possible effort into not really caring about their studies, because now that college admissions are all back, nothing really matters. "It's a lot of work," senior Zach Schienfeld told News from Rockettopia. "But I've managed to go down an entire letter grade in English." Current predictions are that seniors will have fully lost interest in school by the time of their finals.

In related news, the high-school juniors are unusually resentful right now.