Over the last few weeks, reports have been coming in from the nation's doctors that the American public has grown so fed-up with the constantly-used catch-phrase 'Fiscal Cliff- *ugh* -that any use of the phrase leads to a physical reaction. Reactions can range from mere nausea and headaches to vomiting, fever, organ failure, heart palpitations. Some reports have shown another symptom, buying massive amounts of gold and guns, but that seems to only apply to Fox News Viewers. Doctors have termed the unpleasant reaction of many to the phrase "PQEIC", which stands for "Political Quagmire Extreme Irritation Syndrome". The worst reported case of this so far was when CNN did a segment on the Fiscal Cliff (*gag*) from 7:00 to 8:00 Saturday night, which experts estimate easily resulted in more emergency room visits than hurricanes Katrina and Sandy combined.
Earlier Saturday, Steve Doocy vomited live on a Fox & Friends segment about the Fiscal Cliff(*ack*), but many doctors claim this may have been simply because he was sitting next to Gretchen Carlson and Brian Kilmeade.
To avoid exposure to news about the Fis- You Know What, the Surgeon General has recommended that all Americans avoid contact with Television, Radio, Computers, Newspapers, and Anything Outside Their Homes. The Surgeon General Added that, "Either way, this will be over in two days. If we don't go over the you-know-what, this will all nothing but a bad memory. If we do go over, we as a country will have much more important things to worry about."