Against all expectations, Audacity College seems to have survived the first day of Spirit Week. It is possible that I am speaking prematurely, since as of this writing there are still a few minutes left of Monday, but with the Angels contained, the ghosts currently in negotiations, and only two remaining beavers, it seems safe to assume that Audacity has made it through Monday with no fatalities.

The festivities began to go wrong when the beavers that were released at breakfast turned out to be rabid. In hindsight, the Audacity College department of School Spirit has said that perhaps they should not have purchased discount beavers from that guy on a streetcorner who said they had fallen off a truck. Three dozen students have recieved rabies shots and are currently recovering in Rockettopia's Mary Mallon Hospital.

Audacity College President Johnathan McDonald would like us to not speak in depth about the ghosts while negotiations are still in progress, except to reiterate that the dead's misinterpretation of spirit week is being viewed as a harmless mistake and that Bill Murray is currently on standby if negotiations fail.

However, the real disaster came during stoop decorating, when the residents of Lyman Hall decided to celebrate the season premiere of Doctor Who by decorating their Res Hall with imagery from the show. Apparently, the residents of Lyman knew just enough Doctor Who lore to make incredibly accurate statues of Weeping Angels, but did not know enough to know that you should NEVER EVER DO THIS. President McDonald has released a statement saying that Audacity's Department of Alien Studies is looking into a way to defeat the angels, that students should not panic, and that he is definitely not currently hiding under his desk. McDonald added that classes are scheduled to continue normally tomorrow in all areas not effected by the Angels.

Stay safe, students!