The campus of Audacity College was oddly quiet tonight as the freshman students tried desperately to hide from their parents. Parents began arriving for parent weekend at 4:00 PM, and students quickly began concealing themselves everywhere they could. As parents wandered around campus, asking each other why it could be that their little angels would not text them back, students hid in their rooms, their friends rooms, their enemies rooms, their classrooms, and conveniently-placed trash cans. This strange state of affairs is expected to occur from 6AM to 11PM throughout parent weekend.
An update on the Weeping Angels: After an angry mob stormed the Department of Alien Sciences office earlier today, the DAS was forced to admit that actually, they had just been drinking, smoking weed, and hooking up for the past week as they waited for the Doctor to show up and save everyone. When asked why they had not been working on actually attacking the angels, the DAS quoted the Doctor as saying that "you can't kill a stone". The Mining Club responded "Oh really?", grabbed their picks, and ran into Lyman shouting cries of war. The observers along the perimeter say that they heard a few minutes of yells and the sounds of crumbling stone before a stone head broke through an upper window and landed in a native-plant flowerbed. Residents were able to move back in only hours later; they say that the hall is still quite livable despite the layer of gravel that now covers the floor. According to one resident, "It's still more fit for human habitation than Bankus."
And that wraps up Spirit Week! Next week we will return to our normal schedule of barely posting anything.