Billionare idiot Donald Trump entered the 2016 presidential race yesterday, promising to "Turn this country around", "Create jobs", "Destroy ISIS", and "Make this whole thing much more interesting". Trump, a known asshole and far-right celebrity candidate, is expected to provide months of entertainment as he fails to realize that he has no chance whatsoever. Soon, the voters of Iowa and New Hampshire will be subjected to Donald Trump, but for now we have only his oath that he will "shake things up" and "ensure that this race never gets boring". As of this writing, Trump is outpolling Rick Santorum, Rick Perry, Carly Fiorina, and Lindsay Graham.

Rockettopia representitive and presidential candidate Bill Stoner responeded to Trump's announcement by commenting "There goes my reason for existing."