Mexican president Enrique Peña Nieto announced in a press conferance today that, just as planned, his administration would build a wall along the American border and make America pay for it. "Ever since the Gringo with the orange skin and strange hair emerged, my administration has promised that we will build a Great Wall along the American border.", Peña Nieto told the reporters in attendance. "Today, the American president-elect, Mr..." - Peña Nieto glanced down at a slip of paper before continuing - "Fuckface tinyhands garbagefire von Clownstick Pussygrabber Drumpf called to update me on the progress of the Wall. He told me that he agreed, America would pay for the wall." There were audible cheers from the assembled crowd.

"He called me, and he told me that America would pay to construct the wall along the U.S.-Mexico Border. I was very greatful, although we weren't giving him a choice. If he did not pay for our wall, we were going to stop making his clothing line. But still, very polite. He also said something about "reimbursement", and what sounded like 'We're going to win bigly. It'll be yuuuge, trememndous, believe me'. I am rather baffled by that, but I am still very glad that Mr. Pussygrabber has come around and will pay for our wall." Peña Nieto was then met with more applause.

"Now, more than ever, the wall will be nessecary to keep out the Americans coming into our country illegally. They're bringing fast food, they're bringing assault rifles, they're alt-right... and some, I assume, are good people. But still, it is good that they will pay for our wall."