A bruised and bloodied non-union RIT moveout day worker was found unconcious and with both legs broken after what he insists was atumble down a flight of stairs. Tom Johnston, a sophomore computer engineering major at Rockettopia Institute of Technology, was gound with bruises all over his body, his right femur fractured in two places, his left fibia also fractured in two places, and his left tibia fractured in three. Johnston, who only hours earler had been standing in the Watson Hall lobby offering his help as a free-lance paid moving assistant, insists that he just fell down a flight of stairs.

"It was just an accident," Johnston told News from Rockettopia. "I wasn't looking where I was going, and I tripped over someon- sorry I mean something, and fell down a flight of stairs.I guess that's what I get for thinking that I could work as a moveout day helper without joining the Union."

When asked how his accident related to his refusal to join the Moving Laborers' Union, Johnston told us that "it must've been karma or something. This is what I get- er, deserve for trying to undercut union workers by working for below standard wages." Johnston also reminded us that "Snitches get even more stitches."

When reached for comment, the Moving Laborers' Union told News from Rockettopia that they were "sorry to hear about what happened to the rat that nice young man" and prayed for his speedy recovery.