Surprising everyone last night, the Rockettopia Middle School performance of Inherit the Wind was picketed by Chimpanzees who were apparently offended by the show's implication that they were descended from Creationists. Inherit the Wind is based on the famous 1925 Scopes Monkey Trial and endorses the Theory of Evolution. Although some people had foreseen a Creationist protest at the play, no one foresaw the crowd of enraged apes who showed up to demonstrate their outrage at the offensive ideas embodied in the play. As one protestor told News from Rockettopia directly before throwing his feces at us, "Ook Aak Ogga [Shriek] [Shriek] [Bam] [Bam]!" Our resident primatologist explained that the apes were upset at the play's insistence that they were descended from a creature as tribal, violent, and blatenly irrational as the creationist. Although she tried to explain that evolution merely stated that apes share a common ancestor with creationist, the apes were not mollified and proceed to cover her with feces.
Although most were surprised that apes rather than creationists showed up in protest, one member of the stage crew said that he wasn't too shaken. "When you think about it, the difference between shit-throwing apes and creationists is pretty minimal. I mean, one is a irrational, unthinking, hairy, violent primate with a limited grasp of language, and the other has the scientific name Pan troglodytes.