When students at Rockettopia High School returned from summer break, they couldn't help but notice the pirate flag flying above the school. Most people interpret it as a taunt from Rockettopia's arch-nemesis. These people are wrong. A few people claim that it was put up by RHS students to start a war. These people are also wrong. In fact, the Jolly Roger over Rockettopia High School signifies what the skull-and-crossbones has signified since time immemorial: That this building is now under the control of pirates.

In fact, the school is now officially the property of the crew of the Merman Crackhead, a sixteenth-century pirate vessel that most historians refer to as a 'glorified rowboat'. The Merman Crackhead was believed until very recently to have been lost after striking a very sharp piece of seaweed, but it now appears that the ship somehow found it's way to Anthos Pond. If anyone has any knowledge of how this happened, please email the United States Historical Society and/or the United States Armed Forces.

After making the five-minute walk to Rockettopia High School, the pirates apparently seized control of the building, originally intending to pillage it, but after finding 'riches beyond imagining' (RHS Cafeteria Food is much better than Hardtack), decided to stay.

Despite the presence of eighty pirates and two monkeys in RHS, very few people have caught on. First of all, to an untrained eye, the difference between smelly poorly-dressed sexually obsessed delinquent alcoholics and pirates can be difficult to discern. Secondly, when we tried to tell authorities of the pirate threat, we were rebuffed with the reminder that nearly the entire student body is guilty of piracy. And most importantly, anyone who might notice the pirates are either sleep-deprived, drunk, stoned, teachers, or most likely, all of the above.