A new poll published by the Rockettopia High School Polling Club Thursday concluded that Rockettopia High School students don't care about their Student Government. Among students polled who were not running for office, 100% 'Strongly Agreed' with the statement "There's no difference in what the different candidates will do if elected.". 83% 'Strongly Agreed' with the statement "A baboon could do it."

In fact, the only people the Polling Club could find who cared at all about the student election were people running in it. Even the friends of the candidates admitted that the election was not relevant to them. "I mean, my friend cares about the election, since he's running," a student who we, to protect his identity, will call X Wakazowkinski told us. "But even though she cares about the election, I can't think of anything she'd do differently then the other candidate."

We here at News from Rockettopia agree completely. Up next: How the federal government might be spying on your phone calls and might be about to cancel school lunches!