The principal of Rockettopia High School resigned today following allegations. At the moment, the content of the allegations, date of the allegations, and the name of the alligator are still undisclosed. The principal will be investigated by Rockettopia Public School officials this Wednesday, at which point we will have more news. Hopefully, this investigation will determine if any wrongdoing occurred, what wrongdoing may or may not have occurred, when it occurred, where it occurred, and who it was occurred upon. We may even discover the principal's name and gender, which have been mysteries to RHS staff and students for years.

The office of the superintendent will neither confirm nor deny that the principal's resignation relates to the new doorbell at the high school, which is just stupid.