Pitcairn is the British territory that assures that the sun still never sets on the British Empire [http://what-if.xkcd.com/48/].
Pitkern English Whata way ye? How are you? About ye gwen? Where are you going? You gwen whihi up suppa? Are you going to cook supper? I nor believe. I don't think so. Ye like-a sum whettles? Would you like some food? Do' mine. It doesn't matter. I don't mind. Wa sing yourley doing? What are you doing? What are you up to? I se gwen ah big shep. I'm going to the ship. Humuch shep corl ya? How often do ships come here? Cum yorley sulluns! Come on all you kids! I se gwen ah nahweh. I'm going swimming. Lebbe! Leave it alone! Cooshoo! Good!
Since the Pitcairn Islands have only 48 residents and can only be accessed by longboat, many people were surprised when President Obama named notable Rockettopian Dave Westfield (RHS Class of 2002) American ambassador the Pitcairns. Westfield denies rumors that he got the job by calling Obama at 1 A.M. claiming to be a House Republican. Due to the significance of the first ever ambassador to the Pitcairns being from Rockettopia, we have desired to send reporter Sue Silverstien to accompany the Ambassador.
The Ambassador will be leaving for the Pitcairns in two weeks with an entourage of ten people. They will be delivered to the islands via airdrop, and the entire group will increase the population of the islands by 20%.
We here at News from Rockettopia look forward to covering this story.