As voters in Indiana go to the polls today to vote for the Republican nominee for president, GOP hopeful and joke that got way out of hand Donald Trump promised to "Crush all those foolish enough to stand against me!" Trump, speaking to a crowd of thousands in Indianapolis, announced that "After today, the pathetic insects who would contest my power will trouble my no longer! Even combined, Ted Cruz and that other guy cannot stand against my might! I will rule this country - all those who get in my way will be crushed under the juggernaut that is Trump!" The audience responded with a standing ovation and chants of "Trump! Trump! Trump! Trump!" while foreboding music played as Mr.. Trump looked on with a satisfied smile.

In the past few days, Trump has gone all-out on Indiana in the hopes of clinching the GOP nomination. He has focused on appealing to the agricultural sector, which employs many people in Indiana. During campaign stops at local farms, Trump has made bold guarantees to Indianans, promising to "Water the fields with the blood of my enemies" and "Lead the American people like lambs to the slaughter". In a more normal Trump style, he at one point posed with an ear of corn and said, "Now this, this is tremendous American corn. Great corn. You know, I make the best corn. I even have a corn company, Trump corn, you should try it. And I love corn. I love the kernels, and the leafy stuff - all the corn stuff. And it can be used for so much! For example, my daughter could totally use this to masturbate. I'm not saying I think about that a lot, or that I'd want to watch, but you know, she totally could. It's amazing corn."