In a statement issued today, the First Wiccan Temple of Rockettopia denied any connection to the strange noises and screams heard during the lunar eclipse earlier this week. In a statement today, the Temple,s president Raven Luna Caderyn said, "The indescribable noises, piercing shrieks, and occasional moans of pleasure that were heard coming from the town forest had nothing to do with us. We are a normal, non-sacrificy religion that does not engage in blood-orgies in the name of the goddess. Who said anything about blood-orgies? I didn't say anything about blood-orgies. What's a blood-orgy?"

In the weeks leading up to the supermoon eclipse, which had not happened for thirty-three years and will not happen again for another eighteen years, many in town had speculated that the Wiccans would hold a special festival to signify this rare astronomical event. These suspicions were strengthened by the mass adoption of dozens of stray puppies from the local animal shelter, all of whom had the rare DEA 1.1+ blood type. Concerned about the potential for town-wide disaster, and remembering the apocalyptic scene following the 2012 'Transit of Venus Ritual Incident', the town banned the Temple from conducting any ritual that could potentially result in damage to the fabric of reality. However, after lawsuit and bomb threats from the ACLU, the Council was forced to lower their ban to merely a 'discouragement'.

The Wiccan Temple, for their part, has denied that the supermoon eclipse has any spiritual significance. "The eclipse of the moon is of no importance to the Wiccan faith. We do not believe that it signals an ascension of the god Morrigan, signifying an era of blood lasting until the next eclipse. No one is saying that." Following this denial, Caderyn continued, "In fact, I hadn't even heard about the eclipse! I don't even know what an eclipse is! Or a moon, for that matter! What's a moon? Is it like the sun, but at night? Is that it?" Ms. Caderyn refused to take questions from the press.